dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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