Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The air taste purple.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
