you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
