Don't you send me to vm
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
