Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He shit in the fireplace
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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