he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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