If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
