She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
