there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
birth control should be required to get into college
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
