And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize