the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
