Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
