You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
