she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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