i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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