Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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