is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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