When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
