NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
its liver damage thursday
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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