those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
