I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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