hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We had to coat check the pizza.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
