Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
