We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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