last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
