He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
