dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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