just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
