Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
