Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
