I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
