We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
