Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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