ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize