glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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