Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
barbara walters just said penis...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
