She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
