Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
