you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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