New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i believe in u and ur pee
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
