I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
