Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
