I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you made out with another girl for some wings
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
