It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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