Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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