Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize