And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
