We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize