Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
