I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
