dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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