Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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