you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
