Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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