I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
