Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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