is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
