Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
