Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
God I need to hump something, right now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
