I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
