We're facebook friends in real life
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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