With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
