i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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