so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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