One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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