My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize